Final Reflection:: Oh Yeah!!!!!

"Finally Found my answer"

I am finally done with my research and I have come to a complete solution. In the beginning I asked What can we do to help a person who's in an abusive relationship, how is it that the person can't seem to leave the relationship? Well the answer for me is here.... The only way to help a victim or a victim to get help is that they have to be willing to come forward and ask for help or let someone offer to help, but if they don't want the help then that's on them. I mean honestly you can't force anyone to do anything if they don't want to do it. But people who are in danger should get the help. Although it is hard to leave and walk away, but you gotta find the courage inside to get up and go even if it kills you, you just have to do it for the sake of you and those around you. If not then that's on those people who don't want the assistants. Now as you know there are stubborn people who just won't let you in on their personal lives, but you as a Friend or a family gotta step in and show them that you need to be involved and that your here to support them.
I've also learned and found out that the abusive relationship starts off from jealousy and also depends on how bad the abusers temper is. There is a lot of people in this world who have a very bad temper and can't seem to control their anger. People like that have a tendency to take their anger and frustration out on people around them. Personally to me I think if you have problems and your mad don't take your problems out on others keep that to yourself don't get mad at someone else because you had a bad day. That's a reason for an abusive relationship to begin.
Another reason is because the abuser may have consumed drugs or maybe they have an addiction and your trying your best to help them out with it. With them begin under the influence of drugs or in other words "high" they also can act very horrible as in hitting you just because they feel like it and or they might misinterpreted what you have said and just hit you.
In the end I have been very well excited about learning the behind the scenes of "The Abusive Relationship" and have found some important information on this topic. I feel that my research will and can help those who don't know anything about it or need advice for it. This can be very helpful to them because it was for me!!!!!1!!

The End

Something That came to mind when researching

Homosexuality has to be genetic. I say this because there is alot of racist people that discriminate against homosexuals. Gay people really go throw alot, They get talked about, They get mean stares when they go places, and they get treated really badly. What person in there right mind would really want to put thierselves in a situation where they get treated unfairly just because of whom they choose to love or be with. My personal opinion on the whole situation is that people have their own mind they should be able to choose who they want to be with without anyone judging them or making them feel like their no good. I understand why people say homosexuality is a sin, but only god should be able to judge. If im not mistaking to abuse someone just because of their life style is also a sin.

coming closer to answering my question

After interviewing a number of people i came to the conclusion that homosexuality can also be based on your beliefs. Many god fearing people believe that women was created to be with man and vice versa, and that's the way it suppose to be. Many other people don't think that way. In an interview that i conducted with D. Savage she stated that "I don't think its something you can learn i think its just the way you are created". As our conversation continued it came obvious that she strongly believe that homosexuality is genetic that is not something that can be learned. Either your gay or your not and as far as D. Savage is concerned you can not learn how to feel its come naturally.
I also had an interview with S. Salters and she believe that homosexuality is a learned behavior and that it is very wrong. She Said that god didn't make men to be with women. People are not born to be gay it is the thing that they are around and the thing that they are exposed to. She also stated that "Gay marriage is wrong and it should not be legal". According to her gay people should keep there homosexuality to theirself, it should not be shared with the world because its wrong. By allowing gay marriages we are encouraging young kids to be like that, and we are telling them that it is the right thing to do and its not.

Final Reflaction of Non-Traditional Relationships

I have learned alot of interresting things during my research of Non-traditional Relationships with parents and there children. I have listened to diffrent people point of veiws, and listened to different situations.After this long process of research i have been looking for the answer to one question and thats, What are the affects to a child when there relationship with their parents is NON-TRADITIONAL?

I Rachel Briggs have been in a non-traditional relationship with my mother for 19 years. She never was the mother type,You know the type of mother to sit down and tell you whats right and whats wrong,or someone to just talk to you about positive things period. How can she teach me anything and all she was doing was staying in trouble.Everything i have learned i learnded from my grandmother.My mother was the rude type she didn't care about what she said to anybody even her own kids.She didn't even want her own children to call her mommy. Now when I was younger she left me comfused and motherless, I felt as if i wasn't wanted and the best thing she ever did to me was gave us up to my grandmother.
One of the people that I interveiwed was my older brother javele, who feel like he just diden't care about her or the situation.He said why should he even bother to care when my own mother don't care about me.Javele is at the point where he can't stand the ground she walks on which is very stronge.My brother and I have diffrent feelings about are mother.Me on the other hand love her and respect her, there is a connection now between us just not as stronge as it should be. My brother wont even speak to her when he is in her presence.

As for all these young girls having babys right now please take this in consideration,Always be in your baby life no matter what happens because the worst feeling in the world is looking at your child when there old enough to be on there own and they can't even look at you as a real mother or father.I have seen a movie called little black girl lost which remained me of my mother.In the movie the little was not aload to call her mother mommy but by her first name.Her mother was the type of women who choose a man over her child.One day ther mother boyfriend rapped the little girl and when she tryed to tell her mother what happened she didn't beleave her.And I thought to myself how can a perso ever do somthing like that, as a women how can you not listen to your child,but some man.The answer is that there is women out there who have low selfesteem and all they want is someone who show theme some attention so they would do anything for that man just so he can stay around which is just pittiful.As the little girl grew up she didn't care much about her self.She figgured if the women who brought me in this world don't care about me why should I.She stared doing drugs and saleing her body.At the end of the movie she was sent to jail for life for killing her mother boyfriend.

Non-traditional relationships can have dangrouse effects on the child they can grow up hateing the world or killing people,or even killing thereselfs.but its not like that with everyone, some peolple just deal with it and never be like there mother or father like me.You have to be better than that person because why would you want your kids to go through the same thing you have been through or feel the terrible things you felt.

My Final Reflection.. I Finally Made It

My search was successful yet i fail to get a direct answer to my questions. it was very hard to do it. Now that i think about it i don't really think my question has a straight forward answer to it. If it does I failed to answer it. But I have learned so much from all the research I had to do. I learned so much more then the doctor even explains to me about my birth control. It also opened my eyes to new birth control i might want to take in the near future if I decide that I don't want to take the pills anymore.

In my opinion i know i only been taking birth control for 3 months soon to be 4 but i think every female that is sexually active need to invest in taking birth control condom are not 100% anymore. you always have to think about the what ifs. Like what if the condom break what if your sex partner doesn't put the condom on with out you known and he nuts in you then what? You always have to have a back up. Don't get me wrong you still can get pregnant while taken birth control but you have a stronger chance of not getting pregnant by taking birth control, and if your not u have a stronger chance of getting pregnant if the condom break. I personally think it would b safer. Due to the fact there are so many girls walking around here pregnant if they invested in birth control they had a stronger chance of not getting pregnant.

With this new found information and knowledge I have I will use. I will continue to take birth control. So I won't have to worry about being like the rest of the teenager in my generation today. With this information i can be a start to a new story a new start a new life to the younger generation. Show then that it is not ok to get pregnant just because a boy tell you he love you or he wants you to be his baby mother those two lines are normally use so he can have sex with you or try to talk you in to have sex with out a condom. The information open my eyes to a lot. It even showed me that it's ok if i want to in the future to switch birth controls if I am tired of taking the pill.

I have so much good information but like I said in the beginning i failed to get a straight forward answer to my question the only thing i really can do is leave you with this good information until I get a straight forward answer for you. Its going to be really hard because it is some many questions behind my question. So I might need a little more time to get u a straight yes or no.

I am kind of disappointed because I really thought this would be easy and I thought I had this in the bag. I was saying to myself "yea I got this" Im going to have a answer to my question." But here I am at the end of my research with no answer. Maybe this wasn't a real good question because if you think about it all everybody did was give me the opinion. But in there opinion they all said "yes" so maybe my question does have a answer in away. But I am going to further investigate my question to see if I can find a yes or no answer. But I hope you liked all this good information I did find for you, and hopefully you will take this information and use it if you already haven't.. I rather all females be safe then sorry! So be safe and rap it up!

Is there help for me?

"Help me through this relationship, I need a way out"

Personally there is help, but people don't want it when its there for free. Some think that if they do get help you have to give something in return for recieving help, but little do they know you don't always have to return the favor if someone is helping you out of the kindness of their hearts. That's just the same with my cousin. She's older than me, but we're really close and we talk to each other about anything. She thought that if she did come to me about her problem then I would ask her for something in the long run, but I'm not that type of person who would say "If I do something for you, you gotta do something for me." No I'm not like that I open my arms to those who need help with whatever the storm maybe. I think all people should do what I do and that's lending a hand out.
If you have a friend or someone you know that is going thruogh this stand up and be a bigger person by helping them out if your a true a friend.

• Be a good friend

Keep in mind, leaving an abusive relationship is sometimes like breaking a drug habit. She may relapse, crave the “drug”, and turn on you. This is when she needs you to be the most supportive an non-judgemental.

Consult a Professional if:

• There is violence. In many cases, she may feel physically and emotionally unable to leave the relationship. If the relationship is violent, keep a log and be prepared to show it to the authorities.
• There are children involved. Remind her that it is not only her safety at stake, but the children as well. If she doesn’t listen and the children may be at danger, many child social services programs take anonymous calls. Sometimes you will have to make that call.Also for those people who are seeking help but are afraid now is your chance to stop taking the abuse and get out for help why you can LADIES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!

Obaez, Andrea. "Leavving a Abusive Relationship." [Weblog Is there help??] 5/22/08. 22 May 2008 .

Non-Traditionals Relationships

There is a movie that shows how some parents are and the diffrent relationships they have with there parents.Called little black girl lost. The mother in the movie didn't allow her daughter to call her mommy,but by her 1st name.In the movie you can tell that she was really hurt.The mother was the type who would put man over her child because one day the mother boyfriend rapped the girl and when she told her she diden't beleive what she was saying which would make a little girl go crazy. it's like she don't have a mother at all. First she cant call her mother mommy and now she got her innesence tookin away and her own mother woulden't listen. This movie just shows how the parents have a major roll in this non-traditional relationships. after this happened to her it's like she had no reason for careing about her self she started smoking crack and prostatuding her self.At the end of everything she end up killing her mother boyfriend and her went to jail. All because her own mother dident listen.

A Teenager Point Of View

I finally got a teenagers point of view on birth control. I asked 3 teenagers one which has a child and one that has been in a relationship with there boyfriend fro 5 years and the last one which has no child of boyfriend just friends.

The first teenager I interviewed her name is Alisha she is 20 she has a baby. A baby girl name Ja'Niyah she so pretty she is 4. Alisha told me she was never "told or introduce in to birth control when she was younger." she say " she don't regret having Ja'Niyah" but she would of been more happier if she was on birth control, because she didn't get a chance to party, travel of explore the world she sill can but it would be very expensive. She told me " wait to think about having a baby". She said "it is very expensive to have a baby". when she want she cant get she have to buy her baby girl. When she want them new J's she can't get them she got to buy Ja'Niyah them. But i do respect her though how well she take care of Ja'Niyah . She's not the type of parent that let her daughter go without. Some parents out here will buy there self's the latest fashion and let there children got without.

The second teenagers i interviewed her name is Janay she been in a relationship for 5 years with a guy name Anthony . I asked Janay how has birth control impact her life. She told me she loves the fact that she knew about birth control. she said " her and her boyfriend has been in so many situation where she could of ended up pregnant from the condom breaking. " But she was very lucky that the didn't get pregnant the birth control protected her. she then said to me " her and Anthony isn't ready for children they like the life they are living rite now they can go out and explore the world they can party and not have to worry about having to find a baby sitter. She did say that "her and Anthony would like to have a baby in the future but just not rite now" But Janay do like the fact that she is taking birth control.

Now the last in final teenager I interviewed her name was Aaliyiah she doesn't have a boyfriend. She just have friends. But she does take birth control . So i started to ask her are you happy that your parents introduce you in to birth control? She said to me ''I am the one that told my parents i want to be on birth control" i asked her how did your parents feel about you wanting to be on birth control? She said " they didn't like it at first but then they started to respect it because they knew i was growing up and i need to be protected some other way then condoms" ''because condoms do break sometimes plus they are not a 100% anymore". Aaliyiah said to me that she "would of had a baby by now because condoms broke on her a couple time"

From interviewing these teenagers it kind of seem like they have the same point of view just like my family members the only difference is that they didn't mention anything about the disease ratio. Would rise in the younger generation for the young and dumb one's that think they aren't pose to rap it up just because they are take birth control.

Johnson, Alisha. "Personal Interview." 05/16/2008 21 May 2008
Dade, Janay. "Personal Interview." 05/16/2008 21 May 2008
Marie, Aaliyah. "Personal Interview." 05/16/2008 21 May 2008

Why is it hard to SAY Goodbye??

"It's hard to Say Goodbye"

Well now I'm on my serious most important question and that is to all victims "Why is it so hard to just up and leave?" is it because of love or is just because you seem to feel stuck in the relationship and can't leave? I personally don't know and I would surely like to know. Well my theory on this is that women fell to realize that you don't have to be in that predicament and that honestly you can do good by yourself. Sometimes you don't really need a man especially whose beating you and verbally saying mean things about you. That I feel no woman should deserve that type of person. We as woman should be treated like Nubian queens and not like animals or some type of rag doll. We should be appreciated because we give birth to humans to keep the population alive, now I'm not saying that we don't need men of course we do!! they help with populating too!!! But any who......We should have someone who is kind, loving, and will respect us in any form or fashion.

"When in a serious relationship and in love with someone, if the relationship falters and you are not receiving the love that you deserve, you will most probably reach a point of wanting to end the relationship. There are two ways of saying “goodbye”, a real one and a false one. It is imperative to understand both “goodbyes”, separating the two and decide which one inevitably is the correct one to choose. Unfortunately, a majority of people will incorrectly choose the “false” goodbye. This can lead to emotional distress, depression, frustration and prolong the helpless feelings of a broken heart. A false goodbye will cause an unhealthy relationship to drag on needlessly. Let us take a look at the vast difference of false goodbyes and real ones. It is then that you may see that taking the road of a real goodbye can save you so much additional pain." written by Alisa Chagnon

I truly agree with what Alisa, there is two ways of saying goodbye. For example when breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend you say " I think its time we say our goodbyes" I can now say I relate in this case(not in the abusive part) I was in a relationship with someone and I felt as though things weren't working out with each other and my response to saying good bye was "its over, i wanna say goodbye to you" but unfortunately My response was false indeed because I felt like between me and my partner it wasn't over. I mean we still have feelings for each other but I in reality we never made it official in saying the real "Goodbye" to each other. So yes I have been one of those people who have said my goodbye the wrong way and I'm pretty sure everyone else has done the same too. The point that I'm getting to is that the victim of the relationship feels as though that if he/she leaves their abuser will either try to kill them or do something to harm them. Basically threaten them into staying, which of course the victim will automactically stay with them and not want them to become harm. Mostly likely the abuser would probably say "if you know whats best for you then you would stay." When saying that the victim has no choice in but to stay because they feel very threatened and want to keep themselves alive.

I had to get a second opinion

I had to get a second opinion on my question i asked my grandmother, mom, and my uncle.

I asked my grandmother do she think children these days should be introduce to birth control at the age of 13 she agreed with me she said "yes" due to the fact that there are so many pregnancy's in the year of 2008. She told me that" she have seen so many young teenagers on the bus on her way to work" she said " it ridiculous".
Now my mother had a different opinion on it she think that birth control should be introduce once the child receive there period because some children like me get there period at the age of 11. Then start freaking at the age of 14. I didn't though. But then I said to her do she think that would increase the HIV and disease ratio. she then said " maybe" because if a child is told the correct ting about it when hey do start having sex they will still know to rap it up. She said "no matter what the case a female should always use a condom unless they are ready to have children".

Now my uncle on the other hand felt like my mother but also had a different opinion on it. He thinks that "females should have sex before marriage" but he do think it is ok for them to introduce it to them once they receive there period. I then asked him if i was his daughter would he had introduce birth control to me at the age 11. He said "no" then i went on and said to him "you just contradicted your word. " He then said " No i didn't" he said " I said its ok for it to be introduce to females at 13" but then he said "if you where my daughter me and u wold have a open relationship were we could talk about anything" I said "but what if i am scared to come talk to you" he said " that's normal mostly all daughters are scared to come to there father and talk" so i raped it up and said " so you think its ok for birth control to b introduce to females at the age of 13 ." he said "yes if they don't have a open relationship with here parents" so his answer kind of changed once i gave him examples.

But my family agree with me for most of the apart. But then you have to ask your self do you think the teens a start thinking its ok to have sex since they are on birth control and know they have a low risk in getting pregnant? Do you think are disease ratio a rise? There are still so many questions behind this little question that i have. I am now going to ask children around my neighborhood on these 2 questions and see what kind of answers i get.

Purdue, Inell. "Personal Interview." 05/14/2008 21 May 2008
Purdue, Gary. "Personal Interview." 05/14/2008 21 May 2008
Saxon, Inell. "Personal Interview." 05/14/2008 21 May 2008

Non-Traditionals Relationships,Some affects of the Child

In situations like these they can be very seriouse. I have watched movies and read magazines about the way some people grew up and there mother and father was not always around,or never did the things that mothers and fathers should do with there child.This is 1 of the reasons why young teens are locked up or even died because they go out looking for attention on the street because they don't get it at home.For example my little cusine tyrone is 15 years old his parents where not in his life like they should have been.He moved with his grandmother looking for that love his parents never gave him and comes to find out his grandmother is on drugs. Now he is a young boy he wants the finer things in life, he wants to have the new j's that come out,he wants what his friend have.But he cant get it because his grandmother is taking all his money ana smoking it up.So who do you think he turns to at the age of 15, The street he start smoking weed and drinking. He even start robbing people when he shouldn't have to because he has a income. Now his grand mother say she can't handle him anymore and she sent him away to be locked up.But she never thought about what she can do to change his ways.This can affects alot of children.I really don't think that her sending him aways will help him. Whats going to happen is when he turns 18 and get out he is going to feel as if he have no one to run to. He's going to look at his grandmother differnt and he is still going to do the things he been doing because its the only way he no how to survive.

Other Woman involved in abusive relationships such as celebrities

Moving on to the next part of my research has been more and more interesting as I investigate. I recently found out the in the United States more than 5.3 million people have been involved in physical verbal and sexual abuse. Its sad how so many Americans each day go through something so terrible like this. Its a bit disturbing if you ask me.
Not only have normal living people like you and I face these abuses, celebrities too have dealt with the same issue. Celebrities who were part of this problem were singer Christina Aguilera, who she told US Weekly about she and her mother's abuse with her father. Interviewed by US Weekly the reporter says "she still suffers panic attacks as a result of the abuse. She sings about her experiences in the song, “OK,” which is on her most recent album. She sings, “Bruises fade, father, but the pain remains the same/And I still remember how you kept me so afraid.” I have heard of the victims say that they still have panic attacks, which in cases I can relate and say that if something bad or something you have been through you do have panic attacks from those past incidents. That's just like saying if you were in the Vietnam war, people who are now retired and are older (elderly) have panic attacks of when they were in the war. Same thing here. Just a different situation.

Another celebrities who was involved an abusive relationship was no other than Tina Turner. Now everyone knows about the movie "What's Love Got To Do With It" She basically put a movie out about her career as a singer and behind the scenes of her relationship with her ex-husband Ike Turner who is now deceased. Although she went through a horrible struggle somehow some way she became a strong woman by removing herself from the situation. Since then she has learned from the experince and absolutely knows the outcome of it. She has also written books about her relationship and his involved with drugs and financial which led him to abuse her. I feel that reading or watching her movie will help those understand the concept of what is going in theri lives and in hers.

Intersting New Information

I was reading a article which stated that Vice Persident Cheney's daughter is homosexual. His daughter said that her being a lesbian was her "being who she was, being who she was born as" (personal communication, October 14, 2004). Many people belive that it is infact the way some people are born, But Julie Harren thinks different. She belives that the reason people base homosexuality soley on genetic is because most people have not been informed about the developmental contributors to homosexuality. My research has never revealed that people are born gay. In fact, the research indicates that there are many factors, including possible biological and environmental factors, which contribute to a homosexual orientation (LeVay, 1996; Whitehead & Whitehead, 1999). In saying this it is also believed that homosexual felling is not a conscious choice. Although neither of the common explanations for homosexuality is 100% the biological position is the one that is given by the gay community and secular society. This explanation though incomplete and misleading, is extremely widespread. In the media and popular culture it seems to be assumed and implied that homosexuals are simply born that way. Flawed research studies are often cited as evidence for the biological basis of homosexuality.

Harren, Julie. "NARTH National Association for Research & Theropy of Homosexuality." Educating the Public on the Causes of Homosexuality 08.02.2008 01.05.2008 .

Non-tridictional relationships

Rachel Briggs

Being in a non-traditional relatioship with your parents can cause a lot of promblems to the child as they get older.There are effects like low-selfesteem, the child may feel as if there nobodys all because there parents gave them that empration.Or they may feel as if they have no one to run or talk to. A good relationship with your parents is very important because the child may have a good outcome of the world.They will look at others and themself in a differnt way.If you can't look up to your parents ,who can you look up to.

NO ATTENTION (SHOW NO LOVE)

When parents dont show there kids the attention he or she needs the child tends to get in trouble alot.For example in school, and on the streets. The majority of teenagers that is looked up in detentions homes are mainly bacause of there own house hood. And how the parents not always around or dont even ask how was there child day. It do bothers the kids they just show it in a diffent way instead of expressing there emotions.some parents don't even take the time to talk to there child or even spend enough time.

continuation of me introducing what kind of BC's are out there

The shot. Which is called "Depo-Provera." you receive this every 3 months. I would recommend this to people that is irresponsible because all you have to do is go to the clinic and get your shot every 3 months. My cousin gets the shot she did gain a little weigh but not a lot. But my godson mother gets the shot and she gained a lot of weight. I guess it depends on you and you apatite, and how active you are. Family members say this is very convent in there life. But once again this doesn't protect you from std's or sti's. So i would still advise you to always make your sex partner use's a condom.

There are other forms but we are to young to get them. So if you are not taking any of these i would tell you to use condoms protect yourself but even if your are taking birth control you shuld still rap it up stay safe

Non-tridictional relationships

When I interviewed my brother he had a diffrent feeling than I do about are mother.Its like he has no feelings for her and like he said he cant stand the ground she walk on. What I didn't understand was why do he hate her so much and I don't, Eventhough we both been through the same thing.Javele and i are only 1 year apart so its not like things was so much diffrent before i came in this world. I feel that my mother just needed help and that she was to young and really dident understand the mother hood.I do love her for bringing me into this word. And I respect the fact that she is trying to be around us now more than ever.Before my grandmother died she wasent coming around but when she pasted my mother started to show.That shows that she cares eventhough she tryed to hide it before.
My Brother feels that she should of been around,He dont care what she have to say. He feel betrade and disrespected.Which i can can understand because when your mother tells her children not to call her mommy it's like she dident want us in the 1st place and that hurts.

Abusive Relationships Continuation

I first start off my interview with a question that I wanted to hear from others and that question was to my client "What does abuse mean to you?" She seemed hesitant at first but then began saying "To me it simply means fighting and arguing...physically." Well I think there is more than just those words she spoke before I even came to ask her that question, I researched it myself on a web article by Michelle New, PhD. Who wrote on what abuse is and after my cousin gave me her definition of what it meant I gave her the real meaning of it which is "Everyone has heard the songs about how much love can hurt. But that doesn't mean physical harm: Someone who loves you should never abuse you. Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person." When I told her what it meant she gave an eye brow expression, you know like how people get when their shocked or surprised or maybe even speechless that kind of look. I don't think that people who are abused know that abuse is really serious and not so much as a big deal. But little do they know it is. The introduction from Michelle New about abusive relationships was quiet relieving I must say. She gave information on how it began and where the problems mainly come from. She stated in her report that "Abuse can sometimes be mistaken for intense feelings of caring or concern. It can even seem flattering. Think of a friend whose boyfriend or girlfriend is insanely jealous: Maybe it seems like your friend's partner really cares about him or her. But actually, excessive jealousy and controlling behavior are not signs of affection at all. Love involves respect and trust; it doesn't mean constantly worrying about the possible end of the relationship."
Now personally I really agree with what she is saying and so did my cousin because I feel as though in a relationship there is bound to be jealousy somewhere, whether its your partner glancing at someone else or a disagreement on a topic. There will be a little jealousy role in the play.
To know if your being abused or if you know someone who is being abused there are signs of this action:

Signs of an Abusive Relationships

Important warning signs that you may be involved in an abusive relationship include when someone:

• harms you physically in any way, including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching
• tries to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say
• frequently humiliates you or making you feel unworthy (for example, if a partner puts you down but tells you that he or she loves you)
• coerces or threatens to harm you, or self-harm, if you leave the relationship
• twists the truth to make you feel you are to blame for your partner's actions
• demands to know where you are at all times
• constantly becomes jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends

Unwanted sexual advances that make you uncomfortable are also red flags that the relationship needs to focus more on respect. When someone says stuff like "If you loved me, you would . . . " that's also a warning of possible abuse. A statement like this is controlling and is used by people who are only concerned about getting what they want — not caring about what you want. Trust your intuition. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

Signs That a Friend Is Being Abused

In addition to the signs listed above, here are some signs a friend might be being abused by a partner:

• unexplained bruises, broken bones, sprains, or marks
• excessive guilt or shame for no apparent reason
• secrecy or withdrawal from friends and family
• avoidance of school or social events with excuses that don't seem to make any sense

("Abusive Relationships, Teen Health")

These are just to name a few of if you face these signs. But if your like me and have a friend or relative who has actually came forward in telling you that they are facing a situation similar or exactly like this, then you as a friend should help that person out or get them some help. It wouldn't be right if your just going to let the conflict continue. Step up and be a bigger person in helping them getting out of it and rehabilitating them from the abuser.

im finally startn my search to help children

Hey i am finally starting my search. I went to www.google.com and type in birth control and a lot of information there are so many birth control the young teenagers can get on . Instead of been a teen mother i think the year of 2007/08 is a high year a pregnancy from young teenager having unprotected sex. Where they could be introduce to birth control and all of this could be prevented. here are some of the birth control the young teenagers can be introduce to
1)The IUD. The letters "IUD" stand for "intrauterine device." Is very small. It is surgically placed into the female uterus. There are 2 forms of IDU'S tho. "IUDs work by preventing an egg from being fertilized, scientists are not exactly sure how this happens." but there is theories behind it:
* It affects the way the sperm or egg moves
* Substances released by the IUD immobilize sperm
* It moves the egg through the fallopian tube too fast to be fertilized.
The copper in the "ParaGard adds to the effectiveness of the IUD in other ways." It affects the lining of the uterus by not allowing an "egg to implant and it stimulates the production of prostaglandins chemicals that affect the hormones needed to support a pregnancy." "The ParaGard can be a long-term method that may be left in for 8 years."
The "Progestasert IUD prevents pregnancy by releasing the hormone progestin which thickens the cervical mucus." This prevent sperm from entering the uterus. 'The Progestasert also affects the lining of the uterus to prevent an egg from being implanted." But because of the "hormonal component of the Progestasert it must be replaced yearly." The rate of women getting pregnant using the "ParaGard is 0.8% and the women using Progestasert the rate is 2%." The IUD's DO NOT PROTECT U FROM (STI OR STD) SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS. Also if you are planning to have children in the future they DO NOT recommend you to use eaithe 1 of the IUD's. You still reciece your period with the IUD.

2)Birth Control Pills. Personally I take the pill right now so I wont have a mistake and get pregnant. so far I like the pill, the only thing is i have to remember to take the pill every morning. I also like it because my periods are very light and i barley have camps. I really wouldn't recommend this if your not responsible., because if you miss a day or two you will have more then on period that month and your cycle will be messed up until you get back right with the pills. you can even bleed for a whole month. so if your not responsible DO NOT USE THIS METHOD. The pill have been being used by females for 40 years. But it has been around "in the US since 1960.' The birth control pill due "include 2 hormones called estrogen and progesterone." These hormones are "synthetic versions of naturally occurring female hormones." But with BCP you have 2 options to choose from which is the 28 day pill packs which contain 3 weeks of active hormone pills and 1 week placebo pills and the 21 day pill packs which contain 3 weeks of active hormone pills only. You have your period after you finish taking your active pills. which is nice because you know exactly when your period is suppose to come. Birth control pills are "98 to 99% effective". The pills also DO NOT protect you from STD's or STI's.

In the middle of my research

I still have yet to have all my questions answered. I do fortunately know a little more than what i did when i started off. When a child is born it is not a set in stone that a boy would be attracted to boy things and same thing with girls. Some people enjoy doing certain things. As a female child grows up she might not like to play with barbies and ponies. Also most boys like to play with trucks and footballs but some boys may not enjoy that and might like doing hair or playing with babydolls. It also goes that way with their sexuality, some people just might be attracted to the same sex and this can be because of various reasons. One reason may be that their conceited. By this i mean they love there body and everything about them and thats what their attracted to so when the try and find a mate they find someone wth all the qualityies they have and that just might happen to be a person of the same sex. Another reason may be because they been hurt so many times they just give up. By saying this i mean some women may have very bad choice in men and then they get together with these cheating lying dude who beat on them and treat them badly. So after all they then been through with these men they just give up and in their head all men is the same so the go to women lookin for that love that the men they were messing around with couldnt give them. The last thing i learned is that some people who are homosexual are just doin that to rabel against someone. If your living in a very stict home and never get to exsprese yourself you want you tend to lash out to get the attintion, and some people use homosexuality as a way to do so. So far this is all i have learned and i am very intersted into learning alot more.

birthcontrol

sex, pregnancy, std's... Are one of the main topics in teenagers' lives in the year of 2008 and still rising.. For example, as I walk in the school i hear the little girls in school saying "girl me and my boyfriend just got it in yesterday it was good." I have heard and seen so many girls expecally freshmens pregnant this year. The younger generation today are starting to get there period much earlier then the women in the older generation. They are also becoming more sexually active at a young age like 14. At the age 14 i was still playing with baby dolls i did receive my period but i was far from be in sexually active. STD's are becoming higher in the younger generation also because this is when they think they are in love with there boyfriends and or girlfriends, and they start having unprotected sex and end up getting a STD's that are not cure able. then have to live with it for the rest of there life.

Non-tradictional Relationships with parents

Sociation Today
By:Angela Lewellyn Jones
Elon University
and
Stephen N. Jolly

Interview:Javele Briggs (Older Brother)

I asked my big brother how he felt when are mother told us we could not call her mom, His respone was that he really didn't care much as he got older but when he was younger it kind of bothered him. He feel that she was never there so why should we even want to call her mommy. javele said that it is the reason they don't even speak its like he looks right pass her.he feel that if she was to die today he wouldn't even cry. My brother and i have diffrent relationship with are mother i enjoy being around her and talking to her. Javele on the other hand cant stand the ground she walk on. Its crazy because we both experienced the same thing.


The Family Stucture Model

Family stucture is expected to have a direct relationship to adolescent self-efficacy. If non-tradictional family forms hold uniform negative outcomes for children, then teens within such households should expect to have lower levels of self-efficacy.

Discussions and Conclusions

The results of the study are eye catching. The main finding of this study provides no support for general hypothesis that family stucture holds any significant detrimental relationship to adolescent self-efficacy.
In a non-normative family structure has no effect upon the measured levels of adolescent selfefficacy. Teens self-efficacy is either much more resilient to family disturbances and social stigma or in the face of elements.

What can we do to help a person whos in an abusive relationship, how is it that the person can't seem to leave the relationship?

I have heard about woman across the nation being or becoming victims of an abusive relationship, but never did I think that this situation would hit close to home, especially with a loved one I'm personally close with and love dearly. I have always been interested in this particular topic because in the back of my mind there was a simple question that I was determined to find the answer to."Why do woman of such kind have to face this problem everyday and deal with the arguing and the fighting?" So in fact thats what I'm doing now and thats finding my solution to this question. To start off my quest I had to take time out and asked the one who I am close to about her abusive relationship. Although asking her about it was a bit intimidating because as people would say "Why you being so nosey" or "Stay out of grown folks business," i ignored all that and decided to keep processing with my project.
Lately as I've been preparing myself for what I am about to get into. By doing so I have been watching television shows, reading books by counselors and real-life people involved and also interview many people willing to come forward with their stories/tales. So far from what I have seen was very touching and emotional. I really had to put myself into these people shoes and vision as they tell me what happened? and why it happened? After interviewing, I went and found movies that had similiar events as these stories did and indeed I did find some. Movies like 'What's Love Got To Do With It', 'The Color Purple'.......etc
So coming back to more other questions that I have in store......What is holding them back from leaving?, What fears does this person have, Why should they stay? and last but not least Is there help?

Homosexuality before the search!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Homosexuality is a very intersting topic to me. I know very little about homosexuality, but that is why i decided to choose it for my project. I know alot of homosexual people male and female, and i always wondered what makes them this way? Is it just a game to them or are they really like that? These are the questions i plan on finding the answers to in my research. A big question that i really wanna know is whether homosexuality a learned behavior or can it be genetic? The reason i ask this question is because i have seen teenagers who are like really gay and comfortable with themselves and then on the other hand their parents have the biggest case of homophobia i have ever seen. Thats really weird to me because if they grow up in a strict non- homosexual environment then how did they become like that. Obviously it not a learned behavior so where did these actions come from????? It must be genetic but how can it be genetic? If something is genetic that means it came from birth and it is a trait of either the mother or father. Its unexplainable.
Now it may just be possible for it to be a learned behavior because if thats all yor around then thats all you know. There are so many unanswered questions to this topic.

Rachel's Essential Question Introduction

I first became interested in nontraditional relationships with parents when I was about 7 years old. my mother came over to my grandmother house to visit me and my sisters and brother, we really never really got to spend alot of time with are parents.My grandmother was always momma. i was so excited to see her because it's been a long time since the last time. I called her mommy and she stoped everything she was doing and told me, No its linna don't call me mommy.From that day on i never called her mommy, and I diden't understand why. I diden't no if I hurted her by calling her that or if I disrespected her in some kind of way. I understand if the child choose not to call there parents mommy or daddy because they wasent really in there life, But when the child want to call there parents regardless of the situation I feel that the parent should be happy there kids no who there mom and dad are. They should be thankful.

This topic is somthing to think about because there are some effects that the children has as they get older. There has been times when I don't even Claim my mother because It feels like she don't even claim me, because of the fact that she didn't want me or my sisters and brothers Mommy.I used to tell everyone my grandmother is my mother who really was the one that was always there.Situations like these cause heart pain to some people because as time go by and you really think about it and you realized that you and your mother never had a mother daughter conversation. You don't even talk, everything that is said is negative and that hurts because you can't even look at the person that brought you in this world the way you want too. when i look at my mother i don't see a mom a see a lady, and for someone to feel that way about there mother is wronge,and for so many years.Nontradititional relationships can bring a very big seperation with your parents. There are diffrent affects with diffrent people so im asking you "How do nontraditional relationship with parents affects their children?

Briana and Rachel

Shmueli, Sandra. CNN.com 9/8/2003 1. .

LyN'asia Roberts, Charlese McAdory

shmueli, shandra. "'Flash Mob' craze spread." cnn.com 8.8.2003 14.4.2008

Is stereotyping fair ?

How I Became Interested

What I Know I think that people shouldnt stereotype others before they even get to no that person. But i also think that its a part of nature because i no that i stereotype people all the time.I no its not a good thing but i look at it as a first impression. When i meet people for the first time I try to guess how they are before i really no who they are. I think everyone does it wether your a good person or a bad person.Maybe if everyone tryed to get to no everyone before they judge them then this world wood be a better place.

My Big Question

Snow's Predicaments

pg 111

Snow's predicaments kind of reminds me of my older brother tank,who is locked up right now. But when he was younger he used to do the same thing snow did in the story. but when he got older you think things would stop just like the charecters was saying to snow in the story asking him when is he going to stop because he was going to get caought up some day. But now I can understand how hard it is for someone to change there ways when you was always doing it since the age of 15. And when you get locked up a couple of times because of the stupid things you did when you was younger, but when you get older and want to try to do right its hard because people always look at your past. Thats why people still do the thing they do they give up because they look at it like whats the use. I belive if my brother had a better backgroud he can do better out side of those bars.And snow is looking at this the same way.

Do you no any one like this who just cant get right because of there history? Or someone who feels they belong in the street to make money?

Did the book fufill your expectations? Where you dissapionted

I am now finally done with my book. It was everything i expected it to be and more! At the end of the book everything that the characters did wrong it came back on the. Sirron got out of jail, and he killed Nakole. He got killed by the brother of the man he killed earlier on in the book. Maurice and everybody involed in his little scam was arrested, and put in jail. This story was a true example of what goes around comes around. I was noot disappointed at all.

"Being in love is too early.....At least thats what mama said"

Well my home girl Stevie is a senior in high school now and is really digging this guy name Craig who just transferred from an all boys school. Well they both remember each other from when they was younger but now they have time to catch up from since it was lost......Later on in the story they soon fall for each other........but Stevie feels that the friendship/relationship is moving a little bit too fast.....see she tells her mother about the situation but what she gets in reply isn't what she wants to hear........What would you do if this was the shoe you had to put on??

Snow Changing throughout the story

Snow
by Kenji Jasper
pg 85

Snow is now growing up but still remains to do the same dangreous things. He even have a baby Everyone is asking him when is nhe going to stop the things he do,and do he ever worry about not coming home to his family. Snow seens to have no worrys his job is to make home every night no matter what happens. The streets really got to him to ther point he can't stop.How can somone live such a life for so long even when they have a family to take care of,how can he not have many worrys? How can someone live a life where every where you go you have to watch your back or or worry about gun shots coming towards you?

Do the characters experiences cause them to grow? If so how?

I think by what i read so far that some of the characters actions are going to cause alot of pain and heartache. I believe they dont think before they act, because if they do they would make decision alot better. Maybe its just me though because when the author explain some of the reason for the charcters actions i think they're really stupid, and dont make no type of sense.

A dirty girls game.

Chapter9-Chapter10

The book is starting to make sense to me. Nekole is the the title of the book "CONTAGIOUS". This word to me means something u can get, but is really hard to loose it sorta like an effection just way more worse. Nekole then went to kansas city, and now she about to start drama like they havent ever seen before. She got men cheating on thier girlfriends, she taking peoples jobs, and now she even about to mess up a friendship. This girl really need to slow it down because i think she go get herself in some deep trouble that she wont be able to get herself out of alive.

Have you ever known a person to be contagious? Someone who if they get into your life you can just forget about anything thats going good for you?

Growing from snow experiences

"Snow"
pg.100

As snow gets older his life gets even more dangerous. He starts robbing college students on campus,He even starts hanging around different crew only because his boys was in jail. At this point snow is now 17 years old and when he got locked up his mother came to visit him to tell him bye and that if he change then she will help him. Snow felt lost and lonley because he never thought of that day to come when his mother gave up on him. Thats whats made him bolder and harder out in the sreets only to survive because now he really dident have no where to go.

Contagious

Chapter 8 - Chapter 9

Sirron and Nekole got busted. To really make a long story short the detective had Sirrons flesh in the victums teeth from when he bit Sirron. The detective got Sirron to crack and show his love for Nekole. He told him that he was going put Nekole in jail, and thats when he confesed to everything, and he also made sure he said that Nekole had no idea was going on. I think that was so sweet he gave up his freedom for the love of his life. Now on the flip side Nekole is a dirty trick lack of a better word. Once she was let go she left Sirron to rot in jail, and she ran away from all her problem. Even though she was just protecting her life i believe that she was wrong. That just ruined all the thoughts of bonnie n clyde that i had when i first started reading the book.

Do you think she was wrong for just leaving him, or do u think a girl gotta do wat a girl gotta do?

Holidays On Ice-Santaland Diaries

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how a young black gurl experence life

God Don't Like Ugly BY Mary Monroe 156-205


After the father leaves the family for a white female. Annette mom decide to move so she can better her and her child life. A man name Mr.Boatwright move into the family so annette mom can go to work and make a living. Mr. Boatwright begins to molest Annette threatening her with reprisal if she tells anyone about his actions. Although Annette pleads with Mr. Boatwright to stop molesting her, Mr. Boatwright threatens her with a gun and warns her that he knows how to use it. Annette's life changes forever when she makes friends with a nabor name Rhoda Nelson. Annette thinks she is the most beautiful girl she ever meet. sortly after Annette meet rhoda they became the best of friends. Annette became so conferable with Rhoda she decided to tell her what MrBoatwright was doing to her. after telling Rhoda, ronda decided to take action in to her own hand by tell her brother and father. Rhoda father was a cop.. but Rhoda brother wanted to kill him he wanted to fight Mr.Boatwright. I really can't see my self in that type of predictument where my mom wont believe that another guy is touching me.

now if that was you and your parent did believe you how would you feel or react??

Coffee Will Make You Black

Part Two~~~ Well now Stevie is growing up she's no longer a " little girl" anymore, she now has become a " Young Women"........ Once again like i said before sh'e growing up and is now becoming more likely into boys........In the story there is a boy name Damien who like her and well she likes him too. There's this thing called "peeing together" lol sound peverted and weird but that what the kids do....Damien asks her to come pee with him , now technically to the girls its really not something you should do but if you like someone thats their way of saying I want to go with you and that we have to do evrything together...well Damien ask he so she says yes ii dont mind....apparently damien told others that what him and Stevie are going to do after school....luckily Stevie's friend Diamond tells her not to do because other people know and its suppose to be a secret......Stevie in the end is embarress of "peeing" with Damien.

All about Snow

"Snow"
by: Kenji Jasper

As a little boy Snow has been through alot and seen alot of bad things at the age of 8. He seen 2 people get killed in 1 week right there befor his eyes. The second person he seen get killed was because of him because he opened his mouth. His mothre thought it would be a good idea to move so that they can start over with a new life, but what his young eyes seen is somthing he will never forget. As Snow gets older these killing has put a effect to his life as to how he would live.Snow was a very smart boy but was always picked on by the other older kids. He had one friend who he liked alot who lived next door to him. snow was the one who discovered the body and seen the killers. Can this be the reason why Snow decides to kill and robb people? Because of what he seen, and the people he lost.

"Questions for the Characters"

"Snow"
By:Kenji Jasper

-Why did snow choose the life that he live if he suppost to be protecting his family?

-What runs through your mind when you kill somone? What do yo feel?

-Do you ever think about what your baby will say about your actions when she get older?

"Relating to Snow"

"Snow"
by: Kenji Jasper
pages 1-29

"The hardest thing in the world is coming in from the cold."

This is the quote snow the main character stated in the 1st page.This quote mean to me that Its very hard growing up and trying to survive the life he live.Everyday You either hear on the news somone geting shot, somone geting robbed.This story looks past that and in to his feelings as to why snow does these things.Its like a goal of his life to get his girl and his baby girl out of the bad life.So he robs and kill people which is the only way he find is accetable for him. He cant find a decent job to fit his skills and the fast money to support his family.At the age of 23 and no high school education he feel he has no choice but to live this kind of life.Many people now and day feel the same way.When they need a quick way to make money and take chances everyday of there freedom.Many people feel the streets is the only way.when I think about it Snow purpose of his life style is because of the most important thing in his life and I wonder when people take these chances and in the long run u end up died and gone who is there to blame? Yeah you loved your family so why not sattle down and do the right thing because now who do you wife and your baby have if you put up with the streets.Its a hard situation but its somthings for those who are living a dangreous life because of your family who would thy run to?

Contagious

Chapter One - Chapter Seven

The book Contagious so far is a good book. I havent really fully started to understand the book yet, it like two stories that are clashing together. Im not sure if the two main characters in the book meet later or what. The first story is about a man Maurice Jones who use and manipulate women. He makes them belive that he really love them when all he is really do is take there money. The second story is a bought a couple who robs men for there money. Nekole Mitchell and her boyfriend Sirron are belived to be like the next bonnie and clyde or something like that. Nekole siduce men and found out where they keep there money, then she go's home and tell Sirron. Then he come up with a plan on how to rob the men. That as far in the book as i got but it seems to be real intersting.

cash money

cash money was a very good book, the only thing that was kind of odd was the fact that Bj one of the main characters and hios girlfriend went there sepreate ways at the end of the story.I thought free his girl was going to move with him to atlanta. he had to move because things where geting real hot around him, but instead she stayed where she was at and stayed in school because she was so attached to all the money she was making and she felt money was worth more then love.She picked money over her soul mate and he dident have a promblem with it because he was also stuck on all the money he was making.This books show that money is very poweerful and it can take over people mindes.

Coffe Will Make You Black

PART ONE~~~ spring 1965- summer 1967
Coffee will make you black is so far about a young name Jean "Stevie" Steveson. She an eleven year old girl whose going through the stages in becoming a young woman and finding out what are things like. Well she's only in the sixth grade already a boy is asking her adult questions like "Are you a virgin?" ( Doesn't the book is Smut!!!! Mr. Malley!!!!!!) She asks her other what this mean or what this is......ya know personally questions about becoming a lady and going through puberty?????/(i think i spelled that wrong....lol) but yeah her mind is curious in whats going on.

Cash money

One of my books 'cash money' which genre is African American really bring teenagers together and talk about the events that is going on in story. I feel that young teens are interested in this genre because somtimes people can relate to whats going on. these books are like misterys that people going around trying to solve.There are also many everyday life situations that really happend to many people in every day life.In the story the little boy t.j got shot at the age of 14 by a crack head who robbed him and when you read things like that you can't help but to read on and see what happend next. Now his older brother the only person who cared is fighting hard to stay strong and not take his own life away.

Why did my group choose African American Literature

My group has chosen African American Literature because it is something that capture our intrest. The name of are books that we have chosen are: L.Roberts: Contagious by Quentin Carter, B.Posey: Little Scarlet by Walter Mosley, R.Briggs: Street Love by Walter DeAn Myers. We each have chosen a book that we know would be intersting to us, and not something that would bore us with in second. I think people read our genre because it reflects on real life exsperinces. It also show people pain and struggle, and what they go through living in the ghetto.

Assessment - Indy Reading Project - December

Briana 5/5 Responses

Love the voice/personality, but the last three responses were too short and too repetitive.  Provide examples dudette.  It is your responsibility to clarify.

LyN'aSiA 5/5 ReSpOnSeS

I look forward to reading your responses to the next project, when Fabio-esque novelists like Zane are prohibited.  Like Briana, I like the personality in your writing, but we gotta raise that diction just a bit.  Everytime I read "you is" it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and beg for medically assisted suicide.  

Rachel 6/5 Responses (Nice job Rach!)

You wrote "To much attention is not always good when your doing Illegal things."  Ah, the wonderful lessons literature teaches, lol.  I like that you are going back and responding to the questions I'm posing to your responses.  Good job this quarter.

Britney R. 1/5 Responses 

Brit.  One response?  C'mon.  Let's get it together.