Final Reflection:: Oh Yeah!!!!!

"Finally Found my answer"

I am finally done with my research and I have come to a complete solution. In the beginning I asked What can we do to help a person who's in an abusive relationship, how is it that the person can't seem to leave the relationship? Well the answer for me is here.... The only way to help a victim or a victim to get help is that they have to be willing to come forward and ask for help or let someone offer to help, but if they don't want the help then that's on them. I mean honestly you can't force anyone to do anything if they don't want to do it. But people who are in danger should get the help. Although it is hard to leave and walk away, but you gotta find the courage inside to get up and go even if it kills you, you just have to do it for the sake of you and those around you. If not then that's on those people who don't want the assistants. Now as you know there are stubborn people who just won't let you in on their personal lives, but you as a Friend or a family gotta step in and show them that you need to be involved and that your here to support them.
I've also learned and found out that the abusive relationship starts off from jealousy and also depends on how bad the abusers temper is. There is a lot of people in this world who have a very bad temper and can't seem to control their anger. People like that have a tendency to take their anger and frustration out on people around them. Personally to me I think if you have problems and your mad don't take your problems out on others keep that to yourself don't get mad at someone else because you had a bad day. That's a reason for an abusive relationship to begin.
Another reason is because the abuser may have consumed drugs or maybe they have an addiction and your trying your best to help them out with it. With them begin under the influence of drugs or in other words "high" they also can act very horrible as in hitting you just because they feel like it and or they might misinterpreted what you have said and just hit you.
In the end I have been very well excited about learning the behind the scenes of "The Abusive Relationship" and have found some important information on this topic. I feel that my research will and can help those who don't know anything about it or need advice for it. This can be very helpful to them because it was for me!!!!!1!!

The End

Something That came to mind when researching

Homosexuality has to be genetic. I say this because there is alot of racist people that discriminate against homosexuals. Gay people really go throw alot, They get talked about, They get mean stares when they go places, and they get treated really badly. What person in there right mind would really want to put thierselves in a situation where they get treated unfairly just because of whom they choose to love or be with. My personal opinion on the whole situation is that people have their own mind they should be able to choose who they want to be with without anyone judging them or making them feel like their no good. I understand why people say homosexuality is a sin, but only god should be able to judge. If im not mistaking to abuse someone just because of their life style is also a sin.

coming closer to answering my question

After interviewing a number of people i came to the conclusion that homosexuality can also be based on your beliefs. Many god fearing people believe that women was created to be with man and vice versa, and that's the way it suppose to be. Many other people don't think that way. In an interview that i conducted with D. Savage she stated that "I don't think its something you can learn i think its just the way you are created". As our conversation continued it came obvious that she strongly believe that homosexuality is genetic that is not something that can be learned. Either your gay or your not and as far as D. Savage is concerned you can not learn how to feel its come naturally.
I also had an interview with S. Salters and she believe that homosexuality is a learned behavior and that it is very wrong. She Said that god didn't make men to be with women. People are not born to be gay it is the thing that they are around and the thing that they are exposed to. She also stated that "Gay marriage is wrong and it should not be legal". According to her gay people should keep there homosexuality to theirself, it should not be shared with the world because its wrong. By allowing gay marriages we are encouraging young kids to be like that, and we are telling them that it is the right thing to do and its not.

Final Reflaction of Non-Traditional Relationships

I have learned alot of interresting things during my research of Non-traditional Relationships with parents and there children. I have listened to diffrent people point of veiws, and listened to different situations.After this long process of research i have been looking for the answer to one question and thats, What are the affects to a child when there relationship with their parents is NON-TRADITIONAL?

I Rachel Briggs have been in a non-traditional relationship with my mother for 19 years. She never was the mother type,You know the type of mother to sit down and tell you whats right and whats wrong,or someone to just talk to you about positive things period. How can she teach me anything and all she was doing was staying in trouble.Everything i have learned i learnded from my grandmother.My mother was the rude type she didn't care about what she said to anybody even her own kids.She didn't even want her own children to call her mommy. Now when I was younger she left me comfused and motherless, I felt as if i wasn't wanted and the best thing she ever did to me was gave us up to my grandmother.
One of the people that I interveiwed was my older brother javele, who feel like he just diden't care about her or the situation.He said why should he even bother to care when my own mother don't care about me.Javele is at the point where he can't stand the ground she walks on which is very stronge.My brother and I have diffrent feelings about are mother.Me on the other hand love her and respect her, there is a connection now between us just not as stronge as it should be. My brother wont even speak to her when he is in her presence.

As for all these young girls having babys right now please take this in consideration,Always be in your baby life no matter what happens because the worst feeling in the world is looking at your child when there old enough to be on there own and they can't even look at you as a real mother or father.I have seen a movie called little black girl lost which remained me of my mother.In the movie the little was not aload to call her mother mommy but by her first name.Her mother was the type of women who choose a man over her child.One day ther mother boyfriend rapped the little girl and when she tryed to tell her mother what happened she didn't beleave her.And I thought to myself how can a perso ever do somthing like that, as a women how can you not listen to your child,but some man.The answer is that there is women out there who have low selfesteem and all they want is someone who show theme some attention so they would do anything for that man just so he can stay around which is just pittiful.As the little girl grew up she didn't care much about her self.She figgured if the women who brought me in this world don't care about me why should I.She stared doing drugs and saleing her body.At the end of the movie she was sent to jail for life for killing her mother boyfriend.

Non-traditional relationships can have dangrouse effects on the child they can grow up hateing the world or killing people,or even killing thereselfs.but its not like that with everyone, some peolple just deal with it and never be like there mother or father like me.You have to be better than that person because why would you want your kids to go through the same thing you have been through or feel the terrible things you felt.

My Final Reflection.. I Finally Made It

My search was successful yet i fail to get a direct answer to my questions. it was very hard to do it. Now that i think about it i don't really think my question has a straight forward answer to it. If it does I failed to answer it. But I have learned so much from all the research I had to do. I learned so much more then the doctor even explains to me about my birth control. It also opened my eyes to new birth control i might want to take in the near future if I decide that I don't want to take the pills anymore.

In my opinion i know i only been taking birth control for 3 months soon to be 4 but i think every female that is sexually active need to invest in taking birth control condom are not 100% anymore. you always have to think about the what ifs. Like what if the condom break what if your sex partner doesn't put the condom on with out you known and he nuts in you then what? You always have to have a back up. Don't get me wrong you still can get pregnant while taken birth control but you have a stronger chance of not getting pregnant by taking birth control, and if your not u have a stronger chance of getting pregnant if the condom break. I personally think it would b safer. Due to the fact there are so many girls walking around here pregnant if they invested in birth control they had a stronger chance of not getting pregnant.

With this new found information and knowledge I have I will use. I will continue to take birth control. So I won't have to worry about being like the rest of the teenager in my generation today. With this information i can be a start to a new story a new start a new life to the younger generation. Show then that it is not ok to get pregnant just because a boy tell you he love you or he wants you to be his baby mother those two lines are normally use so he can have sex with you or try to talk you in to have sex with out a condom. The information open my eyes to a lot. It even showed me that it's ok if i want to in the future to switch birth controls if I am tired of taking the pill.

I have so much good information but like I said in the beginning i failed to get a straight forward answer to my question the only thing i really can do is leave you with this good information until I get a straight forward answer for you. Its going to be really hard because it is some many questions behind my question. So I might need a little more time to get u a straight yes or no.

I am kind of disappointed because I really thought this would be easy and I thought I had this in the bag. I was saying to myself "yea I got this" Im going to have a answer to my question." But here I am at the end of my research with no answer. Maybe this wasn't a real good question because if you think about it all everybody did was give me the opinion. But in there opinion they all said "yes" so maybe my question does have a answer in away. But I am going to further investigate my question to see if I can find a yes or no answer. But I hope you liked all this good information I did find for you, and hopefully you will take this information and use it if you already haven't.. I rather all females be safe then sorry! So be safe and rap it up!

Is there help for me?

"Help me through this relationship, I need a way out"

Personally there is help, but people don't want it when its there for free. Some think that if they do get help you have to give something in return for recieving help, but little do they know you don't always have to return the favor if someone is helping you out of the kindness of their hearts. That's just the same with my cousin. She's older than me, but we're really close and we talk to each other about anything. She thought that if she did come to me about her problem then I would ask her for something in the long run, but I'm not that type of person who would say "If I do something for you, you gotta do something for me." No I'm not like that I open my arms to those who need help with whatever the storm maybe. I think all people should do what I do and that's lending a hand out.
If you have a friend or someone you know that is going thruogh this stand up and be a bigger person by helping them out if your a true a friend.

• Be a good friend

Keep in mind, leaving an abusive relationship is sometimes like breaking a drug habit. She may relapse, crave the “drug”, and turn on you. This is when she needs you to be the most supportive an non-judgemental.

Consult a Professional if:

• There is violence. In many cases, she may feel physically and emotionally unable to leave the relationship. If the relationship is violent, keep a log and be prepared to show it to the authorities.
• There are children involved. Remind her that it is not only her safety at stake, but the children as well. If she doesn’t listen and the children may be at danger, many child social services programs take anonymous calls. Sometimes you will have to make that call.Also for those people who are seeking help but are afraid now is your chance to stop taking the abuse and get out for help why you can LADIES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!

Obaez, Andrea. "Leavving a Abusive Relationship." [Weblog Is there help??] 5/22/08. 22 May 2008 .

Non-Traditionals Relationships

There is a movie that shows how some parents are and the diffrent relationships they have with there parents.Called little black girl lost. The mother in the movie didn't allow her daughter to call her mommy,but by her 1st name.In the movie you can tell that she was really hurt.The mother was the type who would put man over her child because one day the mother boyfriend rapped the girl and when she told her she diden't beleive what she was saying which would make a little girl go crazy. it's like she don't have a mother at all. First she cant call her mother mommy and now she got her innesence tookin away and her own mother woulden't listen. This movie just shows how the parents have a major roll in this non-traditional relationships. after this happened to her it's like she had no reason for careing about her self she started smoking crack and prostatuding her self.At the end of everything she end up killing her mother boyfriend and her went to jail. All because her own mother dident listen.

A Teenager Point Of View

I finally got a teenagers point of view on birth control. I asked 3 teenagers one which has a child and one that has been in a relationship with there boyfriend fro 5 years and the last one which has no child of boyfriend just friends.

The first teenager I interviewed her name is Alisha she is 20 she has a baby. A baby girl name Ja'Niyah she so pretty she is 4. Alisha told me she was never "told or introduce in to birth control when she was younger." she say " she don't regret having Ja'Niyah" but she would of been more happier if she was on birth control, because she didn't get a chance to party, travel of explore the world she sill can but it would be very expensive. She told me " wait to think about having a baby". She said "it is very expensive to have a baby". when she want she cant get she have to buy her baby girl. When she want them new J's she can't get them she got to buy Ja'Niyah them. But i do respect her though how well she take care of Ja'Niyah . She's not the type of parent that let her daughter go without. Some parents out here will buy there self's the latest fashion and let there children got without.

The second teenagers i interviewed her name is Janay she been in a relationship for 5 years with a guy name Anthony . I asked Janay how has birth control impact her life. She told me she loves the fact that she knew about birth control. she said " her and her boyfriend has been in so many situation where she could of ended up pregnant from the condom breaking. " But she was very lucky that the didn't get pregnant the birth control protected her. she then said to me " her and Anthony isn't ready for children they like the life they are living rite now they can go out and explore the world they can party and not have to worry about having to find a baby sitter. She did say that "her and Anthony would like to have a baby in the future but just not rite now" But Janay do like the fact that she is taking birth control.

Now the last in final teenager I interviewed her name was Aaliyiah she doesn't have a boyfriend. She just have friends. But she does take birth control . So i started to ask her are you happy that your parents introduce you in to birth control? She said to me ''I am the one that told my parents i want to be on birth control" i asked her how did your parents feel about you wanting to be on birth control? She said " they didn't like it at first but then they started to respect it because they knew i was growing up and i need to be protected some other way then condoms" ''because condoms do break sometimes plus they are not a 100% anymore". Aaliyiah said to me that she "would of had a baby by now because condoms broke on her a couple time"

From interviewing these teenagers it kind of seem like they have the same point of view just like my family members the only difference is that they didn't mention anything about the disease ratio. Would rise in the younger generation for the young and dumb one's that think they aren't pose to rap it up just because they are take birth control.

Johnson, Alisha. "Personal Interview." 05/16/2008 21 May 2008
Dade, Janay. "Personal Interview." 05/16/2008 21 May 2008
Marie, Aaliyah. "Personal Interview." 05/16/2008 21 May 2008

Why is it hard to SAY Goodbye??

"It's hard to Say Goodbye"

Well now I'm on my serious most important question and that is to all victims "Why is it so hard to just up and leave?" is it because of love or is just because you seem to feel stuck in the relationship and can't leave? I personally don't know and I would surely like to know. Well my theory on this is that women fell to realize that you don't have to be in that predicament and that honestly you can do good by yourself. Sometimes you don't really need a man especially whose beating you and verbally saying mean things about you. That I feel no woman should deserve that type of person. We as woman should be treated like Nubian queens and not like animals or some type of rag doll. We should be appreciated because we give birth to humans to keep the population alive, now I'm not saying that we don't need men of course we do!! they help with populating too!!! But any who......We should have someone who is kind, loving, and will respect us in any form or fashion.

"When in a serious relationship and in love with someone, if the relationship falters and you are not receiving the love that you deserve, you will most probably reach a point of wanting to end the relationship. There are two ways of saying “goodbye”, a real one and a false one. It is imperative to understand both “goodbyes”, separating the two and decide which one inevitably is the correct one to choose. Unfortunately, a majority of people will incorrectly choose the “false” goodbye. This can lead to emotional distress, depression, frustration and prolong the helpless feelings of a broken heart. A false goodbye will cause an unhealthy relationship to drag on needlessly. Let us take a look at the vast difference of false goodbyes and real ones. It is then that you may see that taking the road of a real goodbye can save you so much additional pain." written by Alisa Chagnon

I truly agree with what Alisa, there is two ways of saying goodbye. For example when breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend you say " I think its time we say our goodbyes" I can now say I relate in this case(not in the abusive part) I was in a relationship with someone and I felt as though things weren't working out with each other and my response to saying good bye was "its over, i wanna say goodbye to you" but unfortunately My response was false indeed because I felt like between me and my partner it wasn't over. I mean we still have feelings for each other but I in reality we never made it official in saying the real "Goodbye" to each other. So yes I have been one of those people who have said my goodbye the wrong way and I'm pretty sure everyone else has done the same too. The point that I'm getting to is that the victim of the relationship feels as though that if he/she leaves their abuser will either try to kill them or do something to harm them. Basically threaten them into staying, which of course the victim will automactically stay with them and not want them to become harm. Mostly likely the abuser would probably say "if you know whats best for you then you would stay." When saying that the victim has no choice in but to stay because they feel very threatened and want to keep themselves alive.

I had to get a second opinion

I had to get a second opinion on my question i asked my grandmother, mom, and my uncle.

I asked my grandmother do she think children these days should be introduce to birth control at the age of 13 she agreed with me she said "yes" due to the fact that there are so many pregnancy's in the year of 2008. She told me that" she have seen so many young teenagers on the bus on her way to work" she said " it ridiculous".
Now my mother had a different opinion on it she think that birth control should be introduce once the child receive there period because some children like me get there period at the age of 11. Then start freaking at the age of 14. I didn't though. But then I said to her do she think that would increase the HIV and disease ratio. she then said " maybe" because if a child is told the correct ting about it when hey do start having sex they will still know to rap it up. She said "no matter what the case a female should always use a condom unless they are ready to have children".

Now my uncle on the other hand felt like my mother but also had a different opinion on it. He thinks that "females should have sex before marriage" but he do think it is ok for them to introduce it to them once they receive there period. I then asked him if i was his daughter would he had introduce birth control to me at the age 11. He said "no" then i went on and said to him "you just contradicted your word. " He then said " No i didn't" he said " I said its ok for it to be introduce to females at 13" but then he said "if you where my daughter me and u wold have a open relationship were we could talk about anything" I said "but what if i am scared to come talk to you" he said " that's normal mostly all daughters are scared to come to there father and talk" so i raped it up and said " so you think its ok for birth control to b introduce to females at the age of 13 ." he said "yes if they don't have a open relationship with here parents" so his answer kind of changed once i gave him examples.

But my family agree with me for most of the apart. But then you have to ask your self do you think the teens a start thinking its ok to have sex since they are on birth control and know they have a low risk in getting pregnant? Do you think are disease ratio a rise? There are still so many questions behind this little question that i have. I am now going to ask children around my neighborhood on these 2 questions and see what kind of answers i get.

Purdue, Inell. "Personal Interview." 05/14/2008 21 May 2008
Purdue, Gary. "Personal Interview." 05/14/2008 21 May 2008
Saxon, Inell. "Personal Interview." 05/14/2008 21 May 2008

Non-Traditionals Relationships,Some affects of the Child

In situations like these they can be very seriouse. I have watched movies and read magazines about the way some people grew up and there mother and father was not always around,or never did the things that mothers and fathers should do with there child.This is 1 of the reasons why young teens are locked up or even died because they go out looking for attention on the street because they don't get it at home.For example my little cusine tyrone is 15 years old his parents where not in his life like they should have been.He moved with his grandmother looking for that love his parents never gave him and comes to find out his grandmother is on drugs. Now he is a young boy he wants the finer things in life, he wants to have the new j's that come out,he wants what his friend have.But he cant get it because his grandmother is taking all his money ana smoking it up.So who do you think he turns to at the age of 15, The street he start smoking weed and drinking. He even start robbing people when he shouldn't have to because he has a income. Now his grand mother say she can't handle him anymore and she sent him away to be locked up.But she never thought about what she can do to change his ways.This can affects alot of children.I really don't think that her sending him aways will help him. Whats going to happen is when he turns 18 and get out he is going to feel as if he have no one to run to. He's going to look at his grandmother differnt and he is still going to do the things he been doing because its the only way he no how to survive.

Other Woman involved in abusive relationships such as celebrities

Moving on to the next part of my research has been more and more interesting as I investigate. I recently found out the in the United States more than 5.3 million people have been involved in physical verbal and sexual abuse. Its sad how so many Americans each day go through something so terrible like this. Its a bit disturbing if you ask me.
Not only have normal living people like you and I face these abuses, celebrities too have dealt with the same issue. Celebrities who were part of this problem were singer Christina Aguilera, who she told US Weekly about she and her mother's abuse with her father. Interviewed by US Weekly the reporter says "she still suffers panic attacks as a result of the abuse. She sings about her experiences in the song, “OK,” which is on her most recent album. She sings, “Bruises fade, father, but the pain remains the same/And I still remember how you kept me so afraid.” I have heard of the victims say that they still have panic attacks, which in cases I can relate and say that if something bad or something you have been through you do have panic attacks from those past incidents. That's just like saying if you were in the Vietnam war, people who are now retired and are older (elderly) have panic attacks of when they were in the war. Same thing here. Just a different situation.

Another celebrities who was involved an abusive relationship was no other than Tina Turner. Now everyone knows about the movie "What's Love Got To Do With It" She basically put a movie out about her career as a singer and behind the scenes of her relationship with her ex-husband Ike Turner who is now deceased. Although she went through a horrible struggle somehow some way she became a strong woman by removing herself from the situation. Since then she has learned from the experince and absolutely knows the outcome of it. She has also written books about her relationship and his involved with drugs and financial which led him to abuse her. I feel that reading or watching her movie will help those understand the concept of what is going in theri lives and in hers.

Intersting New Information

I was reading a article which stated that Vice Persident Cheney's daughter is homosexual. His daughter said that her being a lesbian was her "being who she was, being who she was born as" (personal communication, October 14, 2004). Many people belive that it is infact the way some people are born, But Julie Harren thinks different. She belives that the reason people base homosexuality soley on genetic is because most people have not been informed about the developmental contributors to homosexuality. My research has never revealed that people are born gay. In fact, the research indicates that there are many factors, including possible biological and environmental factors, which contribute to a homosexual orientation (LeVay, 1996; Whitehead & Whitehead, 1999). In saying this it is also believed that homosexual felling is not a conscious choice. Although neither of the common explanations for homosexuality is 100% the biological position is the one that is given by the gay community and secular society. This explanation though incomplete and misleading, is extremely widespread. In the media and popular culture it seems to be assumed and implied that homosexuals are simply born that way. Flawed research studies are often cited as evidence for the biological basis of homosexuality.

Harren, Julie. "NARTH National Association for Research & Theropy of Homosexuality." Educating the Public on the Causes of Homosexuality 08.02.2008 01.05.2008 .

Non-tridictional relationships

Rachel Briggs

Being in a non-traditional relatioship with your parents can cause a lot of promblems to the child as they get older.There are effects like low-selfesteem, the child may feel as if there nobodys all because there parents gave them that empration.Or they may feel as if they have no one to run or talk to. A good relationship with your parents is very important because the child may have a good outcome of the world.They will look at others and themself in a differnt way.If you can't look up to your parents ,who can you look up to.

NO ATTENTION (SHOW NO LOVE)

When parents dont show there kids the attention he or she needs the child tends to get in trouble alot.For example in school, and on the streets. The majority of teenagers that is looked up in detentions homes are mainly bacause of there own house hood. And how the parents not always around or dont even ask how was there child day. It do bothers the kids they just show it in a diffent way instead of expressing there emotions.some parents don't even take the time to talk to there child or even spend enough time.